Saturday, August 11, 2007

Aerial Dance Festival.

*8/6*
it's only the first day and i can feel a change. a change in my attitude, my approach to the work, and how i feel about the work. i suppose those all could technically be the same thing, but for me, right now, it's not. like i discovered with my acting...success comes wihen there is a sense of ease...a sense of relaxation and putting your focus on your partner. sometimes, your partner happens to be a piece of fabric or welded steel. you just have to listen that much harder to understand it's language.

i think it's finally time to let go of the cage of power tumbler that i've placed myself into. it's good to be strong...and powerful...but it's not just about a set vocabulary. it's about inventing your own, and learning from those around you. Invented Apperatus is Veiwpointing in the air. it was amazing to be in a new group of 18 and suddenly try to and succeed at trusting them like i trusted my grad school class. i don't know idiocincracies...but that's why we're here for two weeks. ease ease breathing relaxation. it doesn't have to be a struggle. it doesn't have to be a claw back to "where i was"...i am where i am...and in a lot of ways, it's a wonderful thing.

so after eating a practically living dinner at Whole Foods, lovingly feeding my body what it needs, and sitting here looking at the mountians, i can really tap into that sense of calm. of ease. of course there are always small demons dancing on my shoulder about everything from my body image to my muscles not being use to the altitude yet to wanting to cling to what's safe or familiar..but particularly that last one won't get me anywhere. learning new things isn't comforatble, but it's vital. and i have a bubbling trusting excitement that i usually only save for opening night of a show...where you think back to the memory you made of the first rehearsal...wondering how everything was going to come together...but putting faith in the fact that it will. i'm making a memory today. trying to remember how this is. desperately wanting to know what it will look like in 13 more days. i can't wait to see.

*8/8*
it's like on Top Chef with deconstruction challenges. it's what is it until it isn't. take the ingredients, cook them differently, and put them back together again. sorry that probably made no sense to anyone reading this...it's an aerial choreography image i had.
i need to learn french.
i need to train every. day.

*8/9*
someone called me inspirational after trapeze class today. she came up to me and said "i just was watching you in class and you're just so good. you're an inspiration. i hope i can do that in a few years." it fucks with me head to hear people say that kind of thing to me. i won't pretend that i didn't think it was the nicest thing ever.

had a great conversation with a girl from my fabric class today. we talked about everything from training techniques to taking my time to how to train to frustrations...everthing...it's good to have deep conversations with strangers who share a passion for what you do. and who'se really fucking good at it.

*8/10*
i inspired an idea in my Invented Apps. teacher today. we were doing an improv and i went into the house of the theatre and read a plaque on one of the chairs and just kept repeating that through the improv. right before we finished class she said that she had been inspired and that she thought it'd be really cool to start a piece with us all in the house and have us slink down the steps murmuring names on plaques on our way down to the stage. yeah. i blushed.

*8/11*
Jill and i are going to write a show. we decided while walking through the famers' market this morning. it's going to be based on a Tajikistan folk tale. i'm so excited. it feels like it's absolutely going to happen. i love feeling like i'm a part of something again.
i bought a purple pepper at the famers' market today. yeah. it's actually purple. it's amazing. i was all nervous about this festival. feeling like i didn't know what to expect and not knowing if i could keep up and blah blah blah...i'm having more fun here and i'm happier here than i've been in a while. it's an awesome feeling. Jill says it's because we get to spend two weeks just doing what we love. it's so true. i'm so greatful.


2 comments:

Sharpie said...

Thanks for finding me! I hear ya about Equity. Sigh... they're my bread and butter, and I do love not having to clean bathrooms or any other bullshit theaters may decide is my "job", but.... of course there's a payoff.

I'm enjoying reading your blog!

Pharmacy Blonde said...

Trapeze, fabric class, and Top Chef...you've got something for everyone lol...but I won't pretend I understood half of it?