Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Survival Jobs.

The hunt for the elusive survival job continues. I find the status of actor/waiter to be much too cliche for me for the time being, while I still have the luxury of making the choice not to be one...but I really want my own place. Soon. So I might have to do things I'm not into just to get started. Le'sigh.

After sifting through the (very tempting but complete bullshit as far as I can tell) endless “get rich from home” ads and people needing work in exchange for “the great experience you’ll gain”, I’m wondering if I’m ever going to find what I’m looking for.

I want a job that will allow me to pursue my life. What does this mean, you ask? Here’s what it means. My life is in the arts. Gigs are few and far between. I refuse to work for free unless it's a barter situation, and I have completed a Masters degree in the theatre field and I’m really worth more than “tape for your reel".

I think my new tagline should be, "Sarah. The girl you didn't know you needed."

Would you like someone to come to your home gym and help you put a workout regime together? Would you like someone to come in one day a week to do all of your shopping and food prep; package healthy balanced meals for the week ahead? Would you like to put together a meditation class a few days a week? What about some faux finishing in your living room or re-decorating your bathroom? Piano lessons? Voice lessons? Research for the documentary or book you’re writing? Worried about a speech you need to give? Want some help editing it? Organizing your junk drawers or pantry? I have a detail-obsessed gene that is dying to do that kind of thing. I’m a super fast typer. I’m in the generation that still had “typing” in school. Need some articles for your Food and Wine magazine? I know the difference between escarole and endive, and I can be witty if you’d like.

I’m really good at all of those things. Did I go to school to be a personal chef? No. I didn’t. But do I do it in my “real life”? Yes. Am I a certified personal trainer? Not yet, but I intend to be. I’ve been hired as a specialist in circus coaching situations, and have the training to back it up.

Certifications. CERTI-FUCKING-CATIONS! Is Rachel Ray certified to be a cook on TV who's taken over the universe with her less than exciting sayings (Yum-o?)? Were Ben and Jerry certified in ice cream making when they started up their tiny little store in Vermont? Was Joan of Arc certified to lead the French army against the English? Maybe direct orders from God is as good a certification as any, but come on people. In the case of Rachel Ray (who seems like a genuinely nice person, nothin' but love for her. excited raspy love.) and Ben and Jerry, they're just people who were good at something and someone gave them a frickin' chance.

Of course, preferably, the job will be in the arts. But realistically, I need to start thinking slightly outside the box.

The hunt continues.


Scan said...

Truth FTW.

(for the win)

Anonymous said...

thanks for the comment. going to add your blog to my links. looks like an interesting read!
pumpkins suck! LOL