Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Later That Day.

Holy shit ya'll. Knee surgery is some serious biznis. Maybe I was overestimating my own pain tolerance, or underestimating how much knee surgery actually hurts (yeah yeah, they told me it would but I'm HARDCORE!!), but yeah. Holy shit. Vicodin seems to basically be taking the edge off, but not much else. The internal numbing stuff is definately wearing off (gradually getting higher and higher up my leg...first the shin hurt, then the sides of my knee, now the kneecap...I'm sort of dreading when the stuff around my femur wakes up) and while it's honestly very interesting how that's happening, it also hurts. A lot. And to be honest, it's probably a lot of the fact that it's not a familiar pain, so it's scary on top of things...and it's not a "Oh! Shit! I just ripped a blister on my hand! But look! It doesn't hurt anymore!"...rather a "Hmmm. That hurts...ow....that hurts more....ow....when's it going to stop hurting...uh....um....danger....danger....not good....not good....worse not better worsenotbetter" type of feeling. It sort of made me feel like the world was going to end. And not in a cool Hollywood disaster film type of way.

It's strange, I looked at so many photos of the inside of knees on ACL websites before I had this done...and I'm so totally into all that crazy interesting stuff...but a little while ago when I tried to look at my own photos (cool, I know!) it made me scared and nauseated and freak out just a little. But I was already crying so I guess it was ok. I think there's some relief in there too...just being able to see what was fixed.

So yeah, I sure did just spend 30 minutes crying and waiting for the drugs to kick back in. And they have, which makes the BlackRainCloudOfLegPain go away. I feel like keeping the emotional stress down as much as the physical stress is going to be really important, especially for how much I know I'm effected by both. I'm blaming all the crying on the general anesthesia. Or maybe I should stop appologizing for it. Yeah. No more. I'm going to cry all I want to.

Stay tuned as our fearless leader tries to sleep through the night.

The General is sitting on my desk, watching over me. So at least if I wake up with remnants of Gnome Bombs going off I'll have a quick laugh.

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